Boston Legal Blog: BOSTON LEGAL 2x01

BOSTON LEGAL 2x01 - "The Black Widow"

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Alan Shore and Brad Chase represent Kelly Nolan (Heather Locklear), a cold-as-ice- beauty dubbed "The Black Widow" by the media, on trial for poisoning her wealthy and much older husband. Denny Crane lusts after Mrs. Nolan and begs Shore to let him lend a hand in any way possible. Denise Bauer enlists junior associates Garrett Wells and Sara Holt to assist her on a case involving a Jewish man who feels his civil rights were violated when his Christian co-workers held Bible readings in the workplace. To complicate matters, Denise's husband serves her with divorce papers in front of them. Meanwhile, Shirley Schmidt and Tara Wilson (Rhona Mitra) defend a respected surgeon accused of sexually assaulting a mute woman, who ultimately testifies by very unconventional means. Shore is taken aback when he finds out that opposing counsel on the case is Tara's former lover, Malcolm Holmes (Rupert Everett).

Posted by Adam at 10:11 PM

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"Last night I went to bed with a book, not nearly as much fun as a 29 year old, but the book contained a speech by Adlai Stevenson. The year was 1952, he said 'The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live and fear breeds repression. Too often sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind, are concealed under the cloak of anti-Communism.' Today, it's the cloak of anti-Terrorism. Stevenson also remarked that it's far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. I know we are all afraid, but the Bill of Rights, we have to live up to that, we simply must."

To read the full speech By Adlai Stevenson Click here or Alan's Picture!

1. "My kinda town, always had the best sex of my life in Chicago! What about you?"

2. "I'm going to tell you this one more time with all the humility I can summon up. I'm the greatest trial attorney that ever lived. You will not beat me."

3. "Massachusetts is a Blue State. God has no place here"

4. "I'd just like to say that most of us begin life suckling on a breast. If we're lucky we end life suckling on a breast. So anybody who's against breasts is against life itself."

5. "Don't waste your time trying to get inside my head...there's nothing in there."

6. "you know what I am going to do Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings?...I'm going to sleep with your wife."

7. "Hate old people, always have, they're babies...Hell there's a reason half of them are in diapers"

8. ''Hell, if I had a nickel for every woman I promised to marry in exchange for sex...actually, I do.''

9. 'Edwin Poole's problem is he doesn't like being Edwin Poole. From time to time he'd look in the mirror and ask, 'What's the point?' I never do that. Questions like that'll kill you.''

10. ''May I express a thought? I so rarely get one.''

11. ''What do you mean? Did something happen? Was I in the room when it happened?''

12. ''You would agree, Mr. Mayor, that by and large, vegetarians are communists?''

13. ''Just a simple, 'Thank you, oh kind and benevolent leader' will suffice.''

14. ''You're one of those environmental lawyers?...They're evildoers. Yesterday it's a tree, today it's a salmon, tomorrow it's, 'Let's not dig up Alaska for oil because it's too pretty.' Let me tell you something, I came out here to enjoy nature, don't talk to me about the environment.''

15. ''Waive reading Judge. And ask that these ridiculous charges be dismissed on the grounds of ridiculousness.''

16. ''Here's a little secret. I know things. Don't tell.''

17. ''Well I have nothing against marriage. I've done it five times. But here's the thing about wives, they don't let you play with your friends.''

18. "With all that's going on in the world, who amongst us hasn't at least once wanted to take an axe to a priest?"

19. "Denny Crane never goes down, except as a lover, I'm a giver in bed. Was that relevant?

20. "I have an erection. That is a good sign. Let the trial begin."

21. "Waive reading Judge. And ask that these ridiculous charges be dismissed on the grounds of ridiculousness."

22. "The current president of the United States is George Walker Bush, son to George Herbert Walker Bush, whose father was the late United States Senator Prescott Bush, who, as an undergraduate at Yale, once wrestled my father in the nude. But that's a story for another day. Let's stick to the issues at hand. Denny Crane."

23. "Judge, you're old, I'm old. Lock and Load, before we're dead!"

24. "I just heard, New Orleans, my penis is already packed."

25. "We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."

26. "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."

27. "Bored? How can I be bored? I'm Denny Crane. Even the sound of my name fascinates. More, Sydney. More about me."

28. "We're a superpower. God is on our side. Gum?"

29. "I've often found that it's the chubby girls who offend most easily. I don't know why because I'm not a psychiatrist. For what it's worth I like chubby girls, I enjoy chubby sex. What I'm trying to say is if this is a lonely chubby's cry for help. I'm here for you Lori. So. We could..."

30. "Denny Crane, my poop doesn't smell. It comes out in pretty colors."

Boston Legal Blog

BOSTON LEGAL 2x01 - "The Black Widow"

Sunday, May 18, 2008

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