Boston Legal Blog

Denny Crane is arrested -- yet again -- for carrying a concealed firearm after he shoots a man in self defense who's attempting to mug him and Jerry Espenson. Meanwhile, Alan Shore fights for a sex surrogate's right to joint custody of her daughter -- while grappling with the fact that he was a former client of hers.

Cop: "you have the right to remain silent..."
Denny: "I know my rights and let me tell you I'm never silent. Everything about me makes noise (farts)"...Pure Crane!

After Denny Crane almost dies from toxic shock due to his unintended misuse of an arsenal of prescription drugs, Alan Shore takes on a pharmaceutical company for employing deceptive advertising to scare people into using their products. Meanwhile, Shirley Schmidt asks Carl Sack to defend her cheeky 17-year-old granddaughter who's been arrested for voting in the primary with falsified records, and Jerry Espenson and Katie Lloyd sue a private detention facility after a 15-year-old girl is raped by a guard.

Alan and Denny begin work as Coast Guard officers, which inevitably leads to busting a party boat of bikini-clad women. Denny states the women are violating national wartime security, but will let it slide if he and Alan 'supervise' the party. Denny's in the communal hot tub within minutes.

Back at Crane, Poole & Schmidt, Bethany is fighting a tobacco firm on behalf of a woman who lost her father to lung cancer. She's made little progress in seven years and enlists Alan's help. The partners give Alan the green light to pursue the case.

Alan discovers his ex, Phoebe, is now the lead counsel for that tobacco company. Because a new doctor is called to testify (the old one died while waiting for the case to go to trial), the case is postponed by a day. During the doctor's deposition, Alan and Phoebe bicker and flirt. Bethany tries to put a stop to it, but nothing works.

Alan explains his personal ties to Phoebe to Denny, and Denny drops his own bombshell: his "junk doesn't work!!" Carl joins the pair and tries to talk about the tobacco case, but Denny's issue has taken the room. Denny then asks to borrow Shirley's old cheerleading uniform to try "work out" his problem, but she refuses.

As Alan hits on Katie, Phoebe enters and remarks on his fondness for young associates. She offers him $150,000 to settle the case. Alan refuses and Phoebe claims that he's lost his passion.

Court goes on as usual until a woman's moans interrupt. It sounds like pornography. Instead, it's just Denny's latest ring tone. (It was his doctor's idea.)

Phoebe tries to blame the plaintiff's father's lung cancer on a barrage of other factors radon, asbestos, family history, etc. that are as harmful as smoking. Jerry Espenson counters with a moving speech about racism, classism and other evils that keep the tobacco industry in business. He then runs out of the courtroom.

Alan's now worried about losing the case, just as he lost Phoebe years before. He envisions himself dancing with her. As he explains his daydream to Denny, Denny finds a parallel between his genitals and Alan's confidence. He offers Alan a pep talk, which succeeds: Alan gives a great closing argument against the tobacco industry.

As the attorneys and clients wait for the verdict, the company again tries to settle, but Bethany refuses. She also refuses Denny's advances.

The plaintiff is awarded more than $2.6 million in various damages, stunning everyone. Phoebe congratulates Alan and gives him a kiss goodbye.

Later, while enjoying scotch and cigars, Alan pontificates with Denny on the irony of loving one form of tobacco (which, incidentally, is how the two met and became friends) while loathing another. They then discover Shirley's old cheerleading uniform, decide to share it, and dance with their respective pieces of the outfit long into the night.

Patriotism abounds as Alan and Denny celebrate their acceptance into the Auxiliary Coast Guard. However, when the town of Concord, Massachusetts wants to secede from the United States and Alan takes the case, Denny is deeply offended. The case gets personal when Denny appears in court representing the opposing side, on the Season Finale of "Boston Legal.

Denny Crane for President! Denny Crane is asked by some high ranking politicos to run for President of the United States. Meanwhile, Jerry Espenson's ex-girlfriend, Dana, asks him to defend her when she's arrested for prostitution, and Shirley Schmidt and Carl Sack represent a woman who is suing the Archdiocese for not allowing her to become a priest.

Denny Crane falls hard for cattle rancher Sunny Fields (Christine Ebersole), who hires him to sue the FDA in order to stop the sale of cloned meat. Meanwhile, when Shirley Schmidt's nephew -- a pledged delegate -- informs her that he's going to vote for another presidential candidate than the one his state voted for, she enlists the aid of Alan Shore to take him and the Democratic National Party to court.